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Sunday, October 17, 2004
Begging for snarky captions
A Sunday two-fer, for your captioning pleasure:
Is it my imagination or is Sen. Kerry looking a bit puffy-faced this weekend?
Posted by Beldar at 03:42 PM in Humor, Politics (2006 & earlier) | Permalink
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Comments
(1) Paul Zrimsek made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 4:30:34 PM | Permalink
What's that weirdly elongated orange thing in the first photo? And why is it holding a pumpkin?
(2) Roberto Keen made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 4:50:57 PM | Permalink
Actually, I did call it a watermelon; before, I called it a pumpkin.
(3) Scott made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 5:20:29 PM | Permalink
2nd Photo:
Pyle: "Whayll gah'ahllEE, Sarjint! Whah'd you throw thayt soccah ball at me?"
(4) Bill Mc Nulty made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 5:21:00 PM | Permalink
My name is John Kerry and I didn't approve this Kerry Halloween mask...look for yourself...they left out the botox...and I haven't had an orange tan like this since the 2nd debate!
(5) perfectsense made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 5:35:54 PM | Permalink
As my 20 year Senate voting record proves, throwing pumpkins, not spitballs, should be America's primary defensive weapon.
(6) TomB made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 5:37:21 PM | Permalink
"Well, looks like it's my turn to give Mrs. Edwards her Prozac suppository."
(that one's for you, Mary)
(7) bags75 made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 5:44:19 PM | Permalink
While attempting a header for a photo op Kerry shows the crowd his dark secret. He is in fact the long lost liberal son of Richard Nixon. "I am not a bad man!"
(8) Steve L. made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 6:36:20 PM | Permalink
Two captions for the first one:
"Why thank you. I can use this pumpkin to make a jack-o-lantern that is an exact replica of my face."
"Thank you for the wonderful gift of this pumpkin. Did I mention that Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbian?"
(9) perfectsense made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 6:36:46 PM | Permalink
Bottom photo:
This is how I use to play football in Lambert field.
(10) Steve L. made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 6:39:53 PM | Permalink
For the bottom photo:
"Trying to display his athletic prowess, John Kerry is eliminated in a game of dodgeball with a group of third graders.."
(11) Daver made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 7:24:03 PM | Permalink
"When I am President, my good friend John Edwards says that pumpkins like this one, even under-contest-weight strivers like this one, and perhaps even especially these plucky fellows, will GET UP from their wheelchairs... AND WALK!!
(12) Walt made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 7:27:43 PM | Permalink
He does look puffy. Is he well?
(13) radio made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 7:41:46 PM | Permalink
Pic one
Alger Hiss, Jr. and his home movie storage container with Viet and Paris tapes inside.
or
On the servants day off, Sen. Kerry totes one of his wife's special white raisins.
or
Autumn scene: Straw man and gourd.
or
Michael Moore will next be filming a re-make of the 'Legend of Sleepy Hollow.' A recent Hollywood favorite, John Kerry, will be reporting for duty as Ichabod Crane in mid November. In preparation for his forthcoming role, the actor has been trying out various make-up combinations. At the press preview, the personable gourd appeared to overshadow his co-star, who is primarily noted for his 1970 era home action movies.
(14) Christopher Cross made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 8:01:45 PM | Permalink
Scariest part?
The soccer ball in #2 was not in the original photo and was photoshopped in later.
(15) radio made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 8:11:16 PM | Permalink
Pic two
Head trauma victim John Kerry will be represented by Johnny Edwards in a class action suit against soccer ball manufacturers. Defendants will argue he was in a spiked-raisin induced coma.
or
Pele wannabe. Presidential wannabe. Integrity wannabe. 3 time loser!
or
Trying desperately to find a venue where he could be head and shoulders above his competition, Kerry has settled on middle school girls soccer teams.
(16) Brett made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 8:12:25 PM | Permalink
"I think if you asked this pumpkin, who is a lesbian, it would tell you that it was just being who it was."
(17) Whigfarmer made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 8:26:58 PM | Permalink
photo #1
"On Nov.3 I'll be starting my new job as spokesman for Heinz' new pumpkin pie filling."
photo #2
"The next kid that calls me Frankenstein and throws a ball at me is going to get sent to Siberia." or
"They wont be laughing at me when I'm president. They will pay. They will all pay."
(18) D Carter made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 8:31:58 PM | Permalink
Top pic:
Yes, folks, you've got to have mighty big ones to tell the kind of whoppers I tell.
Bottom pic:
Kerry's brain ejects after one too many flip-flops.
(19) Whigfarmer made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 8:32:45 PM | Permalink
photo #1
How festive! A turkey and a pumpkin!
(20) antimedia made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 8:49:20 PM | Permalink
1st photo: I actually grew this pumpkin myself, in my spare time.
2nd photo: Not only can John and I raise the dead and heal the paralyzed, but we can levitate objects, as you can clearly see.
(21) rski2001 made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 8:56:34 PM | Permalink
How many votes for a pumpkin head?
Going once.....
(22) rski2001 made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 8:58:09 PM | Permalink
Now, this one reminds me of the Halloween I spent in Cambodia.
(23) Bushman made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 10:00:15 PM | Permalink
2nd photo: I think I just lost my dentures.
(24) perfectsense made the following comment | Oct 17, 2004 11:44:34 PM | Permalink
When I was at my Swiss boarding school, I learned the value of hard work and how to connect to the common man by working on a pumpkin farm. Of course, we grew pumpkins much bigger than this one.
(25) FredRum made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 12:08:37 AM | Permalink
#1, "Theresa, look what I bagged with my trusty 12-gauge double-barrel while crawling on my stomach through the brush! Come and gut this damned thing so you can whip me up a batch o' them spice cookies, tut suite!"
#2, Not realizing that the actual source of the Kerry photograph was the Associated Press, campaign spokesman Tad Devine immediately lashed out at "President Bush and his gang of Photoshopping Swift Boat thugs." He added, "This kind of thing is an insult to all Special Olympians."
(26) Old Patriot made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 1:18:55 AM | Permalink
Photo 1: "Are you sure this is a deer lure?"
Photo 2: "Oops, gotta go - that's Tarayza's calling bouncy thingie... "
(27) McTrip made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 2:55:51 AM | Permalink
Picture 1 :
"Yup, I won it from Kofi Annan's son when I passed the global test - apparently it's a left over from the food for oil thing....."
Picture 2 :
Wrong head, wrong place, wrong ball.
(28) Whigfarmer made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 4:29:43 AM | Permalink
photo #1 "Under my new health care plan , every senior citizen will get one of these to grow their own antibiotics."
photo #2 "If I have to kiss another baby Im gonna KILL someone!"
(29) Whigfarmer made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 4:35:10 AM | Permalink
photo #1 "Under my new plan for social security every senior citizen will get one of these to live in."
photo #2 "Dude, where's my brain?"
(30) Dave Schuler made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 9:32:10 AM | Permalink
For the first picture: One of these things is not like the other. True or false?
(31) filfar made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 10:16:34 AM | Permalink
# 1
Senator Kerry, shown with a bust of his late mother, recalls her dying words to him: "integrity, schmegrity."
(32) Rob made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 11:29:51 AM | Permalink
"Okay, Tereasa said that this is the color orange my face needs to be for the first debate."
(33) goober made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 11:41:13 AM | Permalink
"My plan for Iraq is as real as this here pumpkin." -- Senator Kerry
(34) Tongueboy made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 12:34:08 PM | Permalink
First Photo:
Yes, friends, this was my head before…Hypoencephalicon! Yes, you too can eleviate the medical and cosmetic effects of encephalitis and Hubris Syndrome with a five day H-Pac. If it worked for me, it most certainly will work for you. See your personal physician for details.
Second Photo:
My good friend, Fred Flintstone, once told me that despite the many shenanigans chronicled by his television show, The Flintstones, about his good friend, Gazoo, his friendship with that wacky-but-wise alien was a turning point in his life. Family, friends, and work were so much fuller, better, brighter with Gazoo to guide Fred’s way. My friends, I am pleased to announce that I will not have only Gazoo but the entire planet of Zetox to guide me on my journey to the White House and beyond. Imagine, a whole planet of Harvey Korman sound-a-likes to guide your President through the years ahead, providing guidance as we grovel before the UNSC, moral support as we prostrate ourselves supine before the almighty Jacques, and soothing words as we put the 9/11 attacks in their proper context – What? You can’t see the little planet over my head? Look! It’s right there! What is the matter with you pleb—er, people? I tell you, it’s right there! Teraiza! Teraaaaiza! Has anyone seen Teraiza?
(35) slarrow made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 1:26:56 PM | Permalink
"I'm John Kerry, and I approve this pumpkin."
"This reminds me of that secret mission when we spent Halloween night in the Cambodian pumpkin patches. But the Great Pumpkin did not rise from that patch that night. I felt betrayed and lied to by Richard Nixon. The memory of that night is seared--seared--into me. Now gimme back my blanket."
(36) TJ Mason made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 3:59:06 PM | Permalink
First Photo: "For all of the poor, incompetent middle class, who can't pull themselves up out of the squeezing placed upon them by the Bush Administration, I promise this...a pumpkin in every pot."
Second Photo: "Noooo, not the hair, I just spent a "G" getting it coiffed (French for haircut)!!!"
(37) Kalle (kafir forever) made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 4:41:50 PM | Permalink
Second photo: "Look, I close my eyes, and wish very hard for that ball not to hit my head. That's how a President should lead."
(38) Rob Crocker made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 6:52:04 PM | Permalink
Pic 1: John Kerry finally comes clean on the Botox issue with a graphic before and after demonstration.
Pic 2: John Kerry's "better hair" is finally revealed to be a salt-n-pepper crash helmet.
(39) VotedforW made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 7:05:36 PM | Permalink
This is how big my head was BEFORE I got into politics. . . . This is my head now. Any questions?(40) BarCodeKing made the following comment | Oct 18, 2004 11:03:26 PM | Permalink
"And when I become president, there will be healthcare for all pumpkins, there will be flu vaccine for all pumpkins, and because of the stem cell research I'll fund, all pumpkins will be able to grow legs and walk!"
(41) Barry made the following comment | Oct 19, 2004 3:11:57 AM | Permalink
pic1: Ok, how the heck are we supposed to do stem cell research if Bush made a catastophic error and broke off the friggin stem?
pic2: If I concentrate and make a hideous face, you too will be able to see my exact plan for America in a thought bubble.
(42) J. Keen Holland made the following comment | Oct 20, 2004 2:15:35 AM | Permalink
"As tall as I am, how did I end up wearing a jacket with sleeves too long?"
"Oh, this old thing? I knock around in farmer coats all the time. 'Carhartt Kerry' they call me."
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