Funniest line I've heard today: Kerry on SwiftVets' secret motivation

John Kerry is nuanced, and obviously extremely perceptive.  A gifted natural psychoanalyst, he's now divined, and chosen to share with us, his keen insights into the real motivations of the SwiftVets, as reported by the Chicago Sun-Times today (boldface added):

Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry on Saturday night urged President Bush to ''stand up and stop'' what he called personal attacks on him over his combat record in Vietnam.

At a fund-raiser, Kerry said the attacks by a group of Vietnam veterans and former swift boat commanders have intensified ''because in the last months they have seen me climbing in America's understanding that I know how to fight a smarter and more effective war'' against terrorists.

''That's why they're attacking my credibility. That's why they've personally gone after me. The president needs to stand up and stop that. The president needs to have the courage to talk about it.''

I thought maybe the Sun-Times was just confused and had perhaps misquoted Sen. Kerry.  But no, here it is from Reuters, too:

"We're at war," he said. "But this is a different kind of war from any kind of war we've fought before, and it's because in the last months they have seen me climbing in America's understanding that I know how to fight a smarter and more effective war, that's why they are trying to attack."

Well.  So now I guess the secret's out:  The SwiftVets are actually not tools of Dubya, but of Osama bin Laden.  I guess this will put a definitive end to all that carping about Cambodia and medals and stuff. 

*******

Also in today's news, the Dallas Morning News reveals (reg. req'd) that the individual pegged by the NYT and the Kerry campaign's FEC complaint as being the key linkpin between Dubya Rove & Co.'s VWRC and the SwiftVets — Dallas media consultant Merrie Spaeth — has also included Barney the Purple Dinosaur among her clients.  Revelation of this blatant SwiftVets-Purple Dinosaur connection, however, raises obvious questions regarding possible links between bin Laden and Barney that went entirely unaddressed in the recent report of the 9/11 Commission. 

Moreover, the Morning News reports that in 1964, Spaeth "co-starred with [Peter] Sellers and Angela Lansbury in a well-received movie called The World of Henry Orient, playing a Manhattan prep-school girl with a crush on an eccentric pianist."  This raises more questions than it answers, however, as it had previously been assumed by reputable media sources that Mr. Sellers' ghost, stuck in its later persona of Inspector Jacques Clouseau, had been a key advisor to the Kerry campaign.  No eccentric pianists could be reached by BeldarBlog's investigative journalist for comment.

As they say, "developing ...."